Harrie Plotter and the SomethingorOther of Aganon
by diedlaughing.bfd
Summary: Weird parody of HP1. Let the oddness begin
1. Chapter 1

The Dirslies were the most normal family in the history of the world, or so they would have the world believe. They were the most boring people imaginable. They lived in a grey house, on a grey street, in the middle of a very grey neighborhood. In fact, to become part of this exclusive community, you had to sign an agreement to give up all color, and if you put any color other than grey, black or white in your home, or wore any other color, the Home Owners' Association reserves the right to kick you out of this exclusive club. But that is another matter entirely.

On this normal day, the Dirslies were not concerned about what the HOA thought about colors, because Mr. Dirslie was off to work. Mr. Dirslie worked for a big company on the twelfth floor of the second biggest building in the middle of the city, for a tax firm. He was expecting a rather important person who shall remain unnamed because he is completely useless in this plot, and was delighted to find that the important person was right on time. Afterwards, Mr. Dirslie got to shout at a few people in the building and was on his way home when he finally noticed what every other person on the block had noticed: free samples!

Yes, this was very unusual, for the free samples came from the water ice shop that was rather like Starbucks (meaning that it was very expensive, but not very tasty). Feeling irritable, Mr. Dirslie brushed past thinking that there must be some catch for the samples over heard a few of the people whispering.

"He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named-In-Public –"

"Yes, I heard it was the Plotter boy—"

Mr. Dirslie stopped in his tracks. What was this? News from the _other side_? The Plotters where Mrs. Dirslie's good for nothing sister and her sister's husband. And they had a son, that would be about Dexter's age now. Mr. Dirslie was grateful that his own son, Dexter, was nothing like Harrie Plotter. If his son had been one of _them_… well… he did not like to think about that.

Mr. Dirslie shook himself and hurried to his car as quickly as he could. When he finally got home, he listened to Mrs. Dirslie about her big day with Dexter, who had learned to actually put a fork in his mouth, which was about time too, because he was nearly 3. Later on Mr. Dirslie was watching the news when the announcer came on and began a story about Wal-Mart.

"Well, Wal-Mart has once again raised its prices. And in other news, everyone's left shoe has gone missing. We think it is the work of a local …"

Mr. Dirslie drowned out the rest of the report in his mind. Free samples? Wal-Mart raising prices? Left shoe's missing? Something was going on, and he would have to tell Mrs. Dirslie very soon.

"Funny stuff on the news dear… Wal-Mart's lowering prices, and left shoe's are missing everywhere… and today they were giving out free samples."

"So?" Mrs. Dirslie snapped. "It has nothing to do with their lot!" and that was all that was said on the matter.


	2. Chapter 2

Meanwhile, on the front steps, a rather scrawny lioness was sitting on the front lawn. This lioness happened to be Professor McGoggle, and she was never one for subtlety. Thankfully none of the neighbors or Dirslie's was looking out the window at that particular moment, or she would have found that she would be running away very quickly indeed.

McGoggle did not even flinch when a car door slammed a few houses over, or when the theme music from Stargate SG1 began playing in the Dirslie house before Mr. Dirslie sniffed "None of that." and it was swiftly turned off. She was waiting for someone to drop off Harrie Plotter. He would be staying with his aunt and uncle now that his parents were dead. She disapproved, but knew there was nothing she could do about it. So she let sleeping dogs lie, and waited.

A few hours later a man with a bright orange hat and robe, along with dragon hide boots and a very long beard and ponytail came striding down the street, though it had been quite clear that he had not been there a moment before. No one like this had ever been seen on this street before, and the HOA would have a field day if they saw this man. But they did not see him as he walked to the front step, glanced at McGoggle and dropped off a small boy on the front step.

By now McGoggle had turned back into a woman with hair tied back tightly in a braided bun and was glaring at the man.

"Do you really think it wise to leave him with these people? What reason could you possibly have for leaving him here with people like _them_, Doodledum?

Doodledum just glanced up and replied, "I'm just awesome, and my plans always work. You should know that by now, McGoggle."

With that he walked back up the street, and soon, he was not there, even though he certainly had been there a moment before. McGoggle on the other hand, was running the other way, once again a lioness, and soon also vanished, but not in a way nearly as cool as Doodledum's disappearance had been.

Many years later, Harrie Plotter woke up on what happened to be Dexter's 13th birthday. He could only groan because he knew that only bad things could happen and he sat up. Knowing full well he would regret it, Harrie jumped up and walked out of the cupboard under the kitchen sink (which was surprisingly roomy) and started making Dexter's bacon.

Mrs. Dirslie came down stairs a few moments later and saw that he was already cooking, so she nodded and said glowering slightly, "Mrs. Frito is ill today, broke her ankle, and is in no condition to take you today. So you'll be stuck going with us to the zoo." Although she did not seem to like Harrie very much, at least she was taking him somewhere that he had never been before. And he was excited, whatever may happen.


	3. Chapter 3

When they got back, Harrie wondered why nothing ever seemed to go his way. The Incident that had taken place would forever be remembered as the Incident. It would live on in memory for eternity, for Harrie had gotten to smack Dexter over the head with a lemon pop. And that was just the beginning. What happened next was that the cage containing the tiger had accidentally gotten open somehow. And the tiger kinda, sorta, not really went after Dexter. Actually, Dexter had just been blocking the exit. Now, all of this seemed to have nothing to do with Harrie… except that the Dirslies never believed him, and blamed everything on him for no apparent reason.

So he was now locked in the cupboard under the stairs with no dinner for the next week. Then he could have something to eat, and then he was back in again for another week. Resigned to his fate, he was waiting for everything to be silent before he could finally get out and sneak a bite to eat. While he waited, the thought about how the scar on his forehead had prickled at the time that the cage busted open.

The next day, Harrie was still stuck in the cupboard, though he had snuck out and gotten a very big sandwich with plenty of mustard, and was listening to whatever cartoon Dexter happened to be watching at the moment. It sounded suspiciously like the Power Puff Girls.

BANG!

"Mail's here."

For a normal family, it had a surprisingly loud mail system that would make most people think that a gunshot had gone off somewhere nearby but-

"THERE'S A LETTER FOR HARRIE!"

Hey! I was giving a description of the annoying mail system!

"Oh, shut up, nobody cares. Besides, let's just cut to the destroying Harrie's letter so he will never learn the truth about his family and I get to torment him forever."

Dexter is being a brat, and I don't like him. He should watch out in the future, because I control everything that happens in this story.

Dexter gulped nervously out of fear of the narrator. The narrator only smiled.

Thank you. Now, about the mail system-

"GET ON WITH IT!" Four voices screamed at the narrator.

OK, OK…

Well Harrie fought valiantly to get the letter, but he could not get it out of Mr. Dirslie's grip, and this continued to happen for the next few days. Two weeks later, a very annoyed owl was sitting in the kitchen and snapped at the family "Alright, if Harrie doesn't get this letter, Haggar is going to have to come down here and make sure that Harrie gets his letter personally." With that the owl flew away, and sure enough, Mr. Dirslie refused to give Harrie his letter.

What happened next is anybody's guess. Some very nasty insults were exchanged, including "your mama is so fat, that when she jumped for joy, she got stuck" and other such insults directed at family members that didn't really make any sense. In the end, a very big man named Haggar entered the house and forced Mr. Dirslie to give Harrie the letter.

"You're a wizard, 'Arrie."

"NO WAY!! THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME!!"

"And you're going to Hogsnorts Academy for the Magically Inclined."

"SWEET!"

"Yeah, and BTW, you have to beat He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named-In-Public."

"What?"

"You have to beat the Dark Lord"

"No, no, I got that, what does BTW mean?"

"What, did you grow up in the stone ages? It's BY THE WAY!! Come on, EVERYONE knows what that means, 'Arrie."

Harrie was ashamed that he did not know what BTW meant. And he stayed ashamed until they got to the Newly Repaired Cauldron, where they entered Dieagain Parkway and bought all the things every young wizard needs. That includes the basic wand, cauldron, dragon hide gloves, pointy hat, ect. Come on guys, use your imaginations!

"OK, now all you have to do is get on Platform 7 1648/8921. Got it?"

"Er, I think so."

"Good, because I'm now leaving you on your own to find your way. And BTW, your train leaves in a few minutes and if you're not on it, you're automatically expelled from Hogsnorts. Good luck kid, you'll need to be fast like the Flash to get there in time. Or extremely lucky."

And it was like Haggar had never been there at all. Harrie glanced up and wondered how he was going to get on board the train if there was no such thing as Platform 7 1648/8921. Wasn't that an irrational number? And if it was irrational, how was he supposed to find it? It's irrational for Chris' sake! Wait… irrational numbers are numbers that can't be written as fractions… OK, so maybe he could find it, but in time? Yeah right.

Desperately wishing he was as awesome as Wally West, Harrie started wallowing in self pity as he began to search out Platform 7 1648/8921. He did not find Wally West, but he found the next best thing: MORE RED HEADS!

Feeling desperate, he ran over and asked them how to get on to Platform 7 1648/8921.

"No problem, random kid. Just run straight at the wall, and you'll be there."

"…You're kidding right?"

"Nope, I'm dead serious."

"Wow. Erm, OK then."

And with that, our hero ran straight at the wall. And bounced off. Rubbing his head he glanced at the red headed woman was shaking her head sympathetically.

"Other wall, dear."


	4. Chapter 4

Harrie had now been at Hogsnorts for several weeks, been sorted into Gryffonsareawesome, along with the red headed boy and a bushy haired know it all, and several other meaningless students. Except Nick Shortbottom. He is pretty cool, and has a purpose. But all the other people are losers and got sorted into the other houses, Slypandslyde, Reallysmartclub, and Huffandpuff. Except that Huffandpuff is actually a pretty cool name, so they're not as bad as Slypandslyde or Reallysmartclub, the latter of which you would expect to have come up with a better name. But I digress.

Harrie had been at Hogsnorts for a few weeks, had picked up a new sport (Queerditch, which is like baseball but has four balls and you score more points if you're holding a certain ball, but for all the details on this amazingly awesome sport you'll have to read Queerditch and Other Never Heard of by Non-Magic Peoples Sports), and was struggling through his classes. But how did he get this far?

Flashback

Harrie was sitting on the train when the redhead boy that he had seen on the platform came into the compartment.

"Hey, aren't you that kid that ran into the wall trying to get onto Platform 7 1648/8921?" (The sad part is I actually memorized the number of the platform, so I don't have to keep going to look back to see what I typed before.)

Harrie glared at the boy. "Yeah, what of it?"

"Nothing, just seems like something I would do."

"Oh."

"… So can I sit there? Everywhere else is full."

"Oh. OK."

Some time passed and they traveled several miles before they spoke again.

"So. I'm Wally. Wally West."

Harrie's head shot up. "WHAT??"

'Wally' jumped back in surprise. "I said I'm Ralph Westerly!"

"… That's so not what I heard."

"What did you hear?"

"You totally just said you were Wally West."

"…No I didn't."

"YOU DID!"

"I think the narrator is making you hear things."

Yeah, so what if I did? It makes it more interesting.

"For who?" Ralph said glaring.

Me. Deal with it, I control everything.

"You do not."

And then Ralph was thrown across the compartment, and then a cat ran in and started yowling at him, and then a giant Twix candy bar tried to crush him, and then-

"OK OK!! I SEE YOUR AWESOME POWERS! MAKE IT STOP!"

So, some more time passed and then Harrie said,

"I'm Harrie Plotter."

Ralph gasped, "You mean THE Harrie Plotter??"

"Erm, yeah. So, will you be my best friend and live in my shadow of fame until you finally snap in our 4th year and then we make up and become best friends again and then you marry our other best friend who we have yet to meet or even like, and then we'll all live happily ever after?"

"Uh… OK."

"Sweet."

End flashback

And that is how Harrie met Ralph and they became best friends. But what about Harmony Garner? Their story is much simpler.

Flashback to first day of school

"Hi. I'm Harmony. Harmony Garner. I'm easily the smartest person you will ever know, and I don't have any friends because nobody likes my intelligence. But I'll help you guys with your homework and we'll all be great friends if we can become a trio. Whaddaya say?"

Harrie and Ralph looked at each other.

"OK," said Ralph and Harrie at the same time.

end Flashback

OK, so Harmony wasn't disliked by the other because of her intelligence, they were just intimidated. But that was OK, because it just meant that the three were closer than ever.

So now we're about 4 months into the school year and Harrie, Ron, and Harmony are all really tight. But now something's about to happen that will test their friendship.

"What do you mean you're going to duel that Slypandslyde creep?!"

"Look, Harmony, Harrie's got to do it, otherwise Mabdoy will think he is greater!"

"You can't do it, Harrie! It's madness!"

Harrie turned around to glare at her. "THIS IS SPARTA!"

"No Harrie, this is Hogsnorts."

"THIS IS HOGSNORTS!"

"…So it's decided?"

"Yeah, Ralph and I are going to take on Mabdoy and win, and we will be awesome, because I'm Harrie Plotter."

So Harrie, Ralph, and Harmony snuck out of the Gryffonsareawesome tower and headed down to the main hall. They got there a few minutes early and drew their wands nervously.

Harmony was whispering rapidly, "-don't think this is such a good idea, we're so going to get caught and then what are we going to do? We could get extra homework, or worse, detention!"

"Will you shut up? I'm trying to listen!"

While Harmony continued to panic, Harrie and Ralph were listening for any approaching footsteps so that Mabdoy wouldn't sneak up on them. But what they heard was not Mabdoy.

"Oh come on, can 't you just cut us some slack this once?"

No.

"Fine.

What was coming up was the soft padding of lioness paws.

"FUDGESTICKS! It'S MCGOGGLE!"

"SHUT UP! SHE'LL HEAR YOU!"

"What like she didn't hear that??"

"I like fudge. Do you have any fudgesticks on you?"

"How can you be thinking about food at a time like this Ralph?!"

"Time like what?"

Excuse me, but shouldn't you guys be running now?

"Oh yeah."

And with that, they were off, racing through hallways and passages that they didn't even know had existed until they were desperately in need of one because they had been run into a dead end.

Quick guys, take the tapestry on your right!

They ran to the indicated tapestry and ripped it back, only to run into another wall.

Oops. Sorry guys, other tapestry.

Taking off desperately to the other tapestry, they didn't even bother pulling this one out of the way and ran into the next room. Or at least they would have if it hadn't also been just solid wall.

Haha, I can't believe you guys fell for that one again! Double whammy!

"OY! We kinda need a way out now!"

Alright, alright, don't get your knickers in a bunch. Behind that door there.

More cautiously than the last two times, they ran to the door and this time it worked. What, did you expect me to do a triple whammy? That would just be over kill.

Behind the door, they stood hidden in an old classroom. The lioness padded by without a question to the secret door, and instead took the hidden passage behind a third tapestry that would lead her back to the 4th floor.

"Why didn't you tell us about that one in the first place?"

That wouldn't be as much fun.

Turning around to look at their safe haven, they realized with horror that there was something else in the room. There was a giant troll with two heads.

One head said to the other, "Bob, what do you think we should do with them?"

"I dunno, Brian, but Aganon won't be too happy with them being here. Maybe we should kill them."

"I thought we weren't supposed to kill students."

"And students aren't supposed to be disturbin' us, now are they?"

"OK, so we kill them?"

"Yeah."

The two heads looked back down at Harrie, Ralph and Harmony, only to discover that they had made like bananas and split.

"What do they think they're doing, keeping that thing locked up in a school?" gasped Ralph when they had made it back to the safety of Gryffonsareawesome tower.

"Honestly, Ralph, you have eyes for a reason. Use them. Couldn't you tell they were guarding something. Something to do with Aganon."

"Aganon? Who's that?" Harrie put in.

"Some alchemist that had something to do with making people live forever with just a small Something or Other."

"A Something or Other?"

"Yes, it's one of the most powerful magical artifacts, and it gives people certain abilities of the wizard that happened to create it. Aganon's Something or Other was supposed to be the one that made people live forever. I thought it was just a legend."

"Maybe that's what the troll was guarding."

What was your first clue?

"What?"

Did you even listen to what the trolls said? They mentioned Aganon, and their names were BOB and BRIAN. Doesn't that mean anything to you?

"No."

"Of course! Bob and Brian were the guardians of the Something or Other. They were supposed to stop any unworthy souls from coming too close."

"How did they decide if you were worthy or not?"

"They hit you on the head with their club, and if you live, you're worthy."

"What if you don't live?"

"Then you're not worthy and they eat you."

"Well that certainly puts a damper on things."

"You're telling me."

So how do you guys plan on getting past it?

"Why would we want to get past it?"

Well, would you rather get hit on the head and be found unworthy?

"No…"

Then go look for its weakness.

"But where are we supposed to find it?" Ralph whined.

I SAID GO FIND IT!

And they went to find it.


	5. Chapter 5

It took them a ridiculously long time (almost halfway through April!) to find what they were looking for.

"Here it is!" said Harmony excitedly. "Bob and Brian's weakness is to make it sleep by playing horrible Polka music."

"Polka music makes it fall asleep?" Ralph said, incredulously.

"Apparently."

"Funny, I thought all it did was make your ears bleed."

Hey, don't be dissin' on my Polka.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

Care for another demonstration, like the one on the train?

"No thanks, I'm good, oh almighty and powerful one."

Excellent.

"So Polka music makes it sleepy. Where do we get Polka music?" Harrie questioned.

"I dunno, I say we wing it, that's how I pass all my exams." Harrie and Ralph dropped their jaws at Harmony's statement.

"I thought you studied for hours!"

"Why would I do that? I already know everything."

"So what, we just hope that the authoress makes Polka music start playing once we get down to the chamber? She told us to go through the wrong tapestry! Twice!"

You're the one who believed it.

"I'm still not talking to you." Ralph said. Haha, fool, he is talking to me.

"AM NOT!"

This is where I stare pointedly at him.

And then he scowls. "OK, so can we assume that you will make Polka music start up randomly with no real reason for it cropping up?"

Absolutely not!

"Why not?"

There's a spell for making Polka music. Go find it yourselves.

They spent another two weeks looking for the spell, in which time they decided to tell me of all the things I did wrong.

"You're style is nothing like JK's."

Excuse me?

"Well, for one thing she never holds these random conversations."

Sure she does.

"No she doesn't. She also doesn't do horrible things to us whenever she doesn't like us."

Want to bet on that? Just wait until 5th year.

"She also doesn't keep making references to American superheroes."

That's because you're not looking hard enough.

"And you're not writing the way JK writes. She never speaks to us directly."

Sure she does, she just uses Doodledum as a puppet.

"Which reminds me, where is the guy in orange anyway?"

"Off on a mission for the Ministry." said Harmony, turning a page in her book. "AHHA! I HAVE FOUND IT!"

"Great, what is it?"

"Polkarusdancerusmusicus."

"That's really long and obnoxious."

"Tell me about it."

That night, they decided to sneak past Bob and Brian.

"Remind me why we're doing this again." said Ralph.

"Because if we don't get the Something or Other first, Mabdoy will get it, and then we'll be in for it. He'll take it back to He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named-In-Public, who will then live forever." replied Harmony.

"I can't believe I agreed to this."

"Look, Ralph, I need you to help me with this, mate. I told you before I needed to beat He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named-In-Public. Now I'm telling you I need to do this with me. You're my best friend and I need your hilarious comedy to keep my cheerful when it looks like we're all going to die." Harrie told him.

"Thanks Harrie. You sure know how to cheer a guy up. You really think I'm hilarious?"

"…Sure…"

"Aww, thanks."

Hem hem. There's something you guys are supposed to be doing.

"Right. Onward!"


	6. Chapter 6

They reached the door behind which Bob and Brian were guarding Aganon's Something or Other. Standing at the door, Harrie's scar prickled painfully and Ralph said "Hold on, Harrie, there's something I need to tell you."

"What's that?" Harrie asked.

"Harrie, mate, you're a great friend, but if that thing chases us, I'm tripping you."

Harrie smacked him upside the head. They snuck in and Harmony cried, "POLKARUSDANCERUSMUSICUS!"

Polka music instantly filled the room and Bob and Brian couldn't help themselves. They began to fall asleep.

"They can sleep through this?" whispered Ralph, with his hands firmly place over his ears.

"It doesn't matter! Let's go!" Harmony urgently whispered back.

The three of them ran as fast as they could to the other side of the room through a door that contained a giant Venus Fly Trap.

"You have got to be kidding me." This exclamation of course came from Ralph.

"Sadly no, I think this is the real thing." said Harmony. "Don't worry though. My knowledge of non-magical things should save us. Venus Fly Traps, Venus is the goddess of love, and had an affair with Mars that was fabled, so all we have to do is get the Mars Fly Trap in here, and she should let us pass!"

"There's a Mars Fly Trap?"

There is now.

Shazam! Harmony summoned a great Mars Fly Trap, which distracted the Venus Fly Trap long enough for them to get past and through the next door. (If you're wondering, their relationship didn't last long. Mars was more into War and stuff, and Venus was more into nature. They just didn't have that much in common.)

In the next room was a giant checkers set.

"OK, this doesn't look too bad. We'll just cross and go through the next door." said Harrie, brightly.

As they started to go across, a wall of fire exploded in front of the door, and the checker pieces began moving around to prevent them from crossing.

"It looks like we'll have to play our way across." said Ralph. "Lucky for you guys, I happen to be amazing at checkers. I haven't lost a game since I was 3. You two take the two checkers in the back row, and I'll take the one on the far right."

The three indicated pieces rolled off the side of the board and they stepped onto the board. What followed was one of the greatest checkers games ever played. The black pieces continuously jumped around the board and took a lot of pieces. But Ralph jumped around just as much, and saved Harrie and Harmony on more than one occasion from being taken. He managed to get a few pieces across and king them. Finally, there was only one piece left on the black team. Ralph was thinking deeply on how to get this piece that had continuously avoided being captured throughout the game, and it suddenly clicked.

"Of course. Alright then." He looked up at Harrie. "I'm going to move to that square there, and he'll take me. No, don't protest," he said seeing the looks on their faces. "It has to be done. I'll be alright. After that, he'll be in position for you to take him. That'll win the game, then just get out of here, and into the next chamber."

"Ralph, don't!" Harmony said. "There has to be another way!"

"Do you want to get there or not?"

"Yeah…"

"Then we'll have to do this. But one more thing first. Did you guys notice that if you change the b and the d in Mabdoy you get Mad Boy? I think it kind of fits." Ralph grinned and with that walked onto the square that spelled his doom.

The black piece jumped on him, and smacked him upside the head, much like Harrie had done not much earlier. The thought sent a twang of guilt through Harrie, but he shook it off. He had a job to do, and he was going to do it! He walked across the board, and took the last piece from the other side.

"We win."

The fire died down at the door, and they were able to cross. They ran to Ralph and checked his pulse. He was knocked out, but still breathing and had a steady pulse. Harrie and Harmony looked at each other.

"I have to get Ralph out of here. We'll send a message for help once we get out."

"All right. Good luck." Harrie told her.

"You too." Harmony picked up Ralph and started to carry him back the way they had come.

Heart hammering, Harrie walked towards the door that led to the next chamber. Crossing the threshold, he found something he didn't quite expect. It wasn't Mabdoy standing in front of the chest. It was…

"Doodledum!"

He was dressed in navy blue, but there was no mistaking the silver hair and dragon hide boots.

"No, foolish boy, I am Doodledum's identical twin brother, Doodledee."

Guess there was mistaking his silver hair and dragon hide boots.

"Go stand in the corner quietly while I figure out how to open this chest."

The riddle read: _black I am and much admired, men seek me until they're tired. When they find me, they break my head, and take from me my resting bed. What am I?_

"So simple a riddle to keep me from my prize and bringing back the Dark Lord, and yet I haven't a clue. Help me master!"

"Use the boy." A cold, quiet hiss filled the room.

"Of course, of course. Come here, child. A child's mind is best for simple things."

Feeling numb, Harry walked forward and looked at the chest. There, plain as day was the riddle, and right beneath it was the answer: _coal_. It was written as plain as the nose on your face, and yet, Doodledee seemed not able to see the thing. It was odd. Perhaps there was some kind of magic that kept him from seeing it?

"Well?" barked Doodledee. "What do you see?"

"I see a chest with a riddle on it. Am I supposed to be able to see something else?" He was stalling for time to think of something, and they both knew it.

"Let me talk to him, face to face." said the cold voice.

Obediently, Doodledee began to pull out a small mirror that he began to chant over. While they weren't looking, Harry swiftly breathed "_Coal_" to the chest and it quietly clicked open. He grabbed the Something or Other, and slipped it in his pocket. He was surprised to find that it was only a small pocket watch. He would have thought it was a much more powerful and useful object. Silently shutting the chest he stood back up in his original position. By this time, Doodledee had finished chanting and there was a small smoke cloud with a face in it. Harrie recognized the face.

"You!" he gasped. Although he had been not quite 3 at the time, Harrie recognized the face of the man that had killed his parents.

"Me. Lord Moldyvort. I am invincible, and I will have the Something or Other."

Harrie was taking small steps back towards the way he had come. "Obviously not, since I destroyed you when I was only three."

Moldyvort's face darkened. "A lucky shot. This time you will not be so lucky. I will regain my body, with that thing in your pocket. Get him."

Doodledee jumped at him and pinned him to the ground.

"How much did he buy you for?" gasped Harrie. "What was the promised price? Money? Power? Whatever he's offering, it's just to get you to go along with him. He'll get rid of you as soon as he can once you're usefulness has run out."

Doodledee just glared at him and tried to choke him some more. Desperately Harry tugged at Doodledee's hands. To his surprise, they loosened and he managed to back away. But something was holding him back. His scar was exploding with pain and it felt like his head was going to burst open any second. His only thought was to keep them from getting the Something or Other, and the last thing he saw before he started passing out was a flash of orange robes.

When Harrie woke up he found himself in the hospital wing of Hogsnorts. He looked up to find Doodledum standing over him and smiling.

"You did a very brave thing down there, young grass hopper."

"Thanks, but I couldn't have done it without my friends. They really pulled through for me. And why are you calling me grass hopper?"

"You know, I'm not entirely sure. It's some non-magical people thing." Doodledum mused. "Oh well." He peered at Harrie thoughtfully. "It seems that you have had quite an exciting end to the school year. I hope next year is just as exciting for you. But now you must return to the Dirslies, and I do hope you have a very good summer."

Back on the train, Harrie caught up on what had happened with Ralph and Harmony while he had been in the Hospital Wing. "Not too much." said Ralph. "Nick Shortbottom finally stood up to Mabdoy though, that was really something. It only took him all of first year. But there's always next year. I can't wait."

"Yeah, neither can I." Harrie grinned as they pulled into the station and got out to meet the Dirslies. Whatever happened this summer, he would still be looking forward to coming back to Hogsnorts next year.


End file.
